He’s there. I’m here. And between us is an ocean and five hours. It’s by choice because right now — it’s what our individual families need.
So how do you build a marriage when you spend about two months of your year together? We’re not sure, but we’re figuring it out as we go along.
I guess you can say we’re writing our own manual here. All we know are the following points:
- We both have amazing sets of spawn who have lives and friends and most importantly, strong relationships with their other parents. Their childhoods and lives take precedence over our marriage at this point in time. We’re not talking about just blending a household in the same town or county, of course. We’re talking immigrating! Not just a different school system — completely new everything. And that’s not fair of us to ask of these people. They’re established and in my daughter’s case, two years out from college. Asking them to change and leave family and friends because of our weird ass marriage isn’t fair.
- We have households full of stuff. And books. AND MORE BOOKS. Meaning that, it’s going to take us some time to plan out how best to combine our homes. Because again, we’re not moving across town. I have furniture I love! How am I supposed to get it all to Scotland? That kind of move requires a lot of time and money.
- We are old and set in our old ways. That’s the hardest one for me, personally. I have gotten really used to be on my own. I adore and love and like Mark, but getting my head wrapped around sharing my home and space and stuff with someone else besides my kids is something I’m marinating in (and as such numbers 1 and 2 on this list give me more time to get the marinade all the way through the meat).
So we are learning what to do to keep and grow and build our relationship. Follow along with us as we maneuver these seas together.
